Past Sunday my father in law passed away after being seriously ill. He was 77 years old, an extraordinary man, full of life, always interested in what I did and a key figure in our family, a memorable man. When I told my friends the sad news, they also reminded me it isn’t just a sad period, but a special one too. It seems as if there is a connection with all sorts of memories you have forgotten, a friend told me. That seems to be right; in the conversations between my husband and his brothers during the days we extensively got together, these memories and stories came up again. ‘Oh yes’, that’s true, was frequently called out. The concept father and mother gets a whole new meaning in comparison with the meanings we point out in our field. In my experience, saying goodbye to someone and the death of a beloved one changes something in the atmosphere. Something very special was, that on that moment, I remembered the birth of my children. Death and birth, two completely opposite events, and yet they are so close.